SHORT & EDGY

Suburgatory | Krampus, 2.07

(Source: suburgatoryfans)

— 9 months ago with 103 notes
Thomas Fairchild:"Dear Father, or <I>Cher papa</I>, as we say over here, isn't my french getting good? Well we finally finished our four-week course in sauces, and thank goodness! I thought soups were tough, but sauces just about killed me. I almost flunked my hollandaise. It kept separating on me."
Cook:Too much vinegar. Does she mention David?
Thomas fairchild:not a word.
Butler:that's good.
Thomas Fairchild:no wait a minute, heres something, "I don't think of David very much anymore"
Maid:that's good.
Thomas Fairchild:"except at night."
Butler:that's bad.
Thomas Fairchild:"I decided to be sensible the other day and tore up David's picture."
Butler:that's good.
Thomas Fairchild:"could you please air mail me some scotch tape?"
Cook:that's bad.
— 9 months ago with 26 notes

shmow-zows:

You can actually pinpoint the moment he started planning his owner’s murder

(Source: keldeos, via projectmirairemix)

— 9 months ago with 378757 notes